Web Weaving
"Do you understand how there could be any writing in a spider's web?""Oh, no," said Dr. Dorian. "I don't understand it. But for that matter I don't understand how a spider learned to spin a web in the first place. When the words appeared, everyone said they were a miracle. But nobody pointed out that the web itself is a miracle.""What's miraculous about a spider's web?" said Mrs. Arable. "I don't see why you say a web is a miracle-it's just a web.""Ever try to spin one?" asked Dr. Dorian.”― E.B. White, Charlotte's Web
We're in the bowels of another heat wave, the depths of September, my least favorite month in Los Angeles. While everyone is all back-to-school and oh yay fall and pumpkin spice lattes, I am sweating alongside my flea-infested dog. It's too hot to do anything for our morning exercise but take really long walks, so that's what we do.Over the past few weeks, I've received indirect feedback that the work I do for my job doesn't really matter. No one is saying this outright to my face. They wouldn't, because I know no one actually believes that. At the same time, decisions are being made that undo all of my efforts over the challenging month of July. People are dropping balls or not upholding their end of a project, thwarting any progress I can make on my end. It feels all for nothing.
“What do you mean less than nothing? I don't think there is any such thing as less than nothing. Nothing is absolutely the limit of nothingness. It's the lowest you can go. It's the end of the line. How can something be less than nothing? If there were something that was less than nothing, then nothing would not be nothing, it would be something - even though it's just a very little bit of something. But if nothing is nothing, then nothing has nothing that is less than it is.”― E.B. White, Charlotte's Web
But then I thought about this little web and the memory of Charlotte's Web being read aloud to me in 2nd grade, during library time at Catholic school. Those years were really hard. Now, 3k miles and 20 years later, the spider season comes right up after the Indian summers here. It's like the creatures hear the call of autumn and go about spinning despite the heat.Spiders spin their webs to catch their food. At the very basic level it's survival. And I show up for work, put my fingers on keyboard keys, type out a few words, talk to a few people, and go home. My paycheck comes every two weeks and I pay my bills. Not life and death, but another type of survival regardless.More so, a spider weaves and slings that webbing over and over, day in and day out, because that is what they're meant to do. That inborn, intuitive act of creation for the sake of making. To show up. To leave their mark, however temporary.
“It is quite possible that an animal has spoken to me and that I didn't catch the remark because I wasn't paying attention.”― E.B. White, Charlotte's Web
Attention. To my life, to my days. These walks with the dog, the landscaper hosing down the sidewalk, the monarch that flew by the window. Writing down these words. Connecting 20 year old memories to a photograph I snapped on my phone this morning.
You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that.”― E.B. White, Charlotte's Web
Intention. To help, to care, to uplift even the slightest bit. To extend a warm word, to weave the web closer between myself and another person. To make good with the time that we're given, to know that the process is as important as the outcome. To go on knitting moments together to create our days which become our life. The tiniest gestures, the smallest connections. Daily miracles, if only we pay attention.It is more than nothing. It is everything.